How about simply seeing your experience differently?
We are conditioned to think that our happiness comes from things that are external to us. So we go through life, in search of happiness and fulfillment from our jobs, from other people, from our past experiences, and from buying more stuff!
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about wanting to do things and achieve things in life, but the tough part is that we get too attached to the outcome.
How often have things turned out wildly different from what you expected? When we feel as if something hasn’t worked out how we’d planned, we can easily find ourselves disappointed. Perhaps something doesn’t happen as quickly as we’d like, or life leads us in a different direction. Maybe we find ourselves not being as focused, so we feel a sense of failure. This can often make things even worse as we end up feeling disappointed.
Of course, this can often lead to a downward spiral, where we label ourselves:
‘I am not capable enough’
‘I am not clever enough’
‘I didn’t try hard enough’
We compare ourselves to others, and so it goes. We believe we can only be happy when we reach our goal, so we give up and never try again, leaving us feeling disappointed with ourselves.. There goes your dream of a new you!
So let me ask you: have you ever watched what happens when you do achieve something?
Perhaps in that moment, you feel proud of yourself, you celebrate, and then what happens?
Are you off to the next thing?
Does that sense of achievement ever last?
The truth is: true happiness is within you.
It doesn’t come from seeing your scales show 10 kg less, or reaching 10K followers on Instagram, despite what you might believe!
True happiness is available to you and happening here right now in this moment.
This moment is the only place there is. It is your safe place. Perhaps you can hear the birds singing in the trees, or share a sweet moment with your dog, your partner, or your children, or even sitting by yourself. Each moment is total bliss, but then we worry about things, we think about our past and feel sad, or we look at ourselves in the mirror and feel depressed.
We human beings are constantly thinking ourselves away from this moment right now, nothing wrong with that as long as we know, with these thoughts, our suffering will continue.
You may wonder how to stop all this thinking, but in reality, you can’t!
What you can do is see that you are the ‘thinker’.
The moment you can see that your mind is taking you down different routes, but that you are ok, you don’t have to take those thoughts so seriously anymore.
As soon as you can see that you live in the illusion of your thinking, your mind gets quieter.
Instead of going on a diet, why not decide to better support and look after yourself?
What could happen if you accepted yourself for who you are?
Rather than focusing on the weight you could lose, consider the health you could gain.
For me, when I see things this way, I can take action to make change or achieve something purely for the fun of the journey, rather than relentlessly pushing towards a goal at all costs. After all, life is about the journey, not the destination. And happiness comes from enjoying the journey, rather than focusing on outcomes.
Whatever goal you have, by all means, put it into action, but bear in mind that you can not predict the future. In reality, we have no idea what will happen from one moment to the next, so there really is no need to constantly spend time figuring it out! Go with the flow of life and don’t lose your focus to the future or the past. If what you think you want is truly for you, you will get there and it will happen for you.
So how can you support yourself in the best way?
A great place to start is to ask yourself whether the food you eat is sabotaging or healing you?
Are the goals you have set for yourself ones that you would expect others to achieve?
Set out to accept and understand your - self - and maybe have some fun on the way!
If you want someone to listen to you and help you figure out what you need, I would love to hear from you.